The swirls and tumbles in my mind is often clouded
Clouded with ‘wants’ or ‘needs’ I really can’t put a finger on
Creative aspirations constantly linger on
I learnt early, that finesse, not power, moves mountains
I have since longed for that spring of the finest finesse-fountain
Still hard to come by
My sub-conscious is greater than my consciousness
The layers of flaws, is often shadowed by impending greatness
At the same time, I constantly find ways to spread myself thin
I once met a beautiful stranger, she was a fan
Crucial to my art, but confusing to me
How could she be a fan
When this stranger barely knew me
Halfway within the conversation, she became really tough on my expressions
Walked out of the diner, and left me guessing
Returned within minutes and said, I’m sorry, let’s start this all over again
I respected her guts, and still do
But what I couldn’t wrap around my sphere of thoughts was
I was more important to her, than I was to myself
My worth she saw
But my flickering hurts in life, was all I often sawed
Reminding me of where I came from, but still not completely mapping where I need to go
Amongst pals, I’m the voice of reason
But within me, there’s treason
I’m in a constant coup with the emerging man inside of me
So much I want to be, the world has no space for all these me
I’m stuck between ‘the guy at the bar that half the crowd want to know’
And the invincible being that is ‘just’ a friend and nothing more
Never been religious, never will
I just believe in right, wrong, good, bad, nothing superstitious
I’ve done a lot of my bid at just the start of my twenties
Not sure if there’s much left
Feeling that if I don’t make a mark soon, it’ll all slip through my fingers and poof!
Disappear like some of my peers
I still have my ‘yesterday’, my ‘tomorrow’ is where the confusion lies
Not every song has a good riff, not every restroom is infested by flies
I keep a good circle
But sometimes I feel so far from that circle
And they’d never tell what’s lurking in my radius
Too busy waking up the neighbors every other weekend
The only time I live in the moment is when I’m writing
The world blurrs, and my brain begins dispensing
I’m not sure why I write, so I long for a writers block
I’ve met one fourth of all the men I’ll like to be
But I’m still searching for the man that I inspire people to be
My pen bleeds
My heart sinks
Emotions sing
But my mirror just stopped revealing
Maybe I need my own hemisphere
Just maybe
Still hoping that one day, before my thoughts finally retire
I would’ve had a firm grip on the Edge of My Desire
Andreá Fellini *2012*Copyright!
SO many sentiments I can relate to here! *Sigh*
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I know…that sigh says it all 🙂
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i have felt a lot of what was written here. keep working this path. your circle will improve over time. also remember your circle will grow on wordpress as well.
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Haha. Thank you. Thanks for the encouragement. Your blog is one of my fav. too. Don’t you dare stop writing.
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anytime for the encouragement. thank you as to what you have said in regards to my blog. i’m honored and humbled. i won’t stop writing. don’t you either:)
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Such havoc and mystery and angst and tension and STRONG, STRONG sense of conviction. Hm, interesting. Maybe we don’t really know anything and our being presumptious about ourselves and always thinking we know the black and white of it all really is just a smokescreen and WRONG? 🙂 Love your existential ponderings and BIG thinking, very ambitious and so well “finessed” that I’m a huge admirer of your stuff bud. Just sayin’. 🙂
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Thanx man. I greatly cherish your response Pete. And you’ve said it best, its often like “we hate to be wrong, but we’re scared of being right”
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I just believe life ebbs and flows and changes and never is predictable, at least for me. So I’m kind of taking a dharmic posture lately and letting it all ride, without thinking I know everything (as that will change soon enough anyway haha). 🙂 And you’re welcome. thank YOU.
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Hahaha. ”Let it all ride” – that’s the motto
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I reread this. You’ve got a long way to go dude no doubt. Great scene you make here and I can relate to having others believe in me more than I believe in myself. And believing in others more than they believe in themselves too. I could use my own hemisphere too haha Nicely done Fellini.
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Thanks man. Combing through the archives, and I realized I need to blow the dust off some files. Thanks man, glad you saw that . Man, you’ve got your own hemisphere already.. look around
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